I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them … in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.

(via sorcererinslytherin)

Anonymous asked: Don't you miss real food though

kayceejones69:

vegan-vulcan:

"Real food"?image

the fuck are you talking about, “real food”…

OHHHH, I get it, vegan food isn’t “real food”!image

here I am just eating imaginary food for the past year…

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look at all this imaginary food, here let me just have some imaginary bananas

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wait fuck

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where did my fOOD GO

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shit shit shit, if my FOOD was imaginary, that must mean VEGANS…

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OH GOD, OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME WhAT IS HAPpENINGGG AAAAAAAGH

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I am forever a changed human being because of this.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

twerkdatash:

I don’t want to meet my favorite band member in a fanbase setting so they have to be nice to me I want to meet them in a spontaneous situation where they accidentally run into me on the street and spill my coffee on me and apologize profusely and insist on buying me another one and then fall hopelessly in love with me bc my wit and charm are so undeniably intriguing idk too much to ask maybe idk

(via rachelaurenn)

(Source: liz-comstock, via skeletaltruth)

when you surprise a bitch in spanish

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(Source: kvncause, via spenceralthouse)

coolator:

Sydney Corcoran poses at the finish line one year after she was injured in the Boston Marathon bombing. More Here

(via aunteater)

sparkhy:

you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick 

(via onekickassbamf)

a-flying-emu:

bunniferbennett:

say it with me:

makeup is gender neutral

I whispered “makeup is gender neutral” out loud on the train and the guy next to me looked at me weird but then whispered “fuck yea” back

(Source: rabbittwalter, via yourefunnymann)

joannablackhart:

You know, my friend was telling me a story about how when she was a little younger than me, she was working at a restaurant as a waitress.

Apparently there was a regular patron who was there all the time, but she’d never helped him.

His usual waitress was not there that day, and so my friend was the one charged with the duty of taking his order. 

He thought that he would take this opportunity to get a “hands on experience” with the new help. 

My friend did not approve.

She took a fork and promptly shoved it into his hand.

And he of course, screamed in agony and pain.

Her direct supervisor, lets call her Snaggletooth, saw this take place, and immediately pulled her from the floor. She happily complied, and walked into the back.

Her manager walks in, to which my friend says “So you’re here to fire me.”

"No, not at all" manager says.

"Well you’ve already pulled me from the floor."

"I didn’t. Snaggletooth did. Go back to work."

"So I’m fired at the end of the day?"

"If you want to quit, you’re welcome to. But as far as I’m concerned, you still have a job."

My friend went back to work, finished off her shift, and went about her business. Snaggletooth was, of course, beyond pissed.

A few days later, the pervert walks in. He asks to speak to my friend.

She agrees to see what he has to say, assuming its some sort of lawsuit.

In front of the entire restaurant, he humbly begs for her apology and replies that what he did was absolutely reprehensible, and that, if she would be kind enough to be his waitress again, he would never ever do that again.

She’s a better person than me, and so she accepted his apology. She helped him, and he left her a tip that was $100 dollars. In 1962, that was a lot of money.

Every time afterwards, he always asked to be helped by her, and was always respectful. And my friend, being a better person than me, forgave him for being a massive asshole.

He never disrespected her again.

That’s why I don’t put up with your shit, men. Because she taught me better than that. And I would be more than happy to put a fork in so many of your hands.

(Source: male-tears, via aunteater)